Licorice Pizza is Pedophilia Romanticized

lussvontrier
3 min readFeb 22, 2022

Paul Thomas Anderson is probably one of the biggest #smalldickenergy-s in the movie industry (pun intended). The amount of boredom and dirt he gets away with just by claiming to be an auteur is beyond me. He shot once, to the moon, with the movie “There Will Be Blood” and now he thinks he can shove anything into our throats. And the sad thing is that we are digesting this. But as I scroll through the IMDB and Letterboxd reviews I see that there is still hope for humanity as most average consumers like me (not critics) see this movie as it is — which is pedophilia romanticized.

Ok. The movie is beatifully shot and has great score. But enough already. I’ll be happily down for a movie that has shitty music and shitty camera angles but amazing plot. The bar is too low ladies and gentlemen🙄.

Licorice Pizza is about nothing. As was Phantom Thread, as was Inherent Vice, as was The Master. Nothing. At best. Licorice Pizza is nothing at best and pedophilic portrayal of two completely incoherent people at worst.

Paul is so stuck in the past that he believes a tale of a 15-year-old child man hooking up with a 25-year-old woman is cool. And either he really thinks it’s cool or he wants it to be cool or worse, he has had that experience himself. It would’ve been a different story if he portrayed this happening in the 70s but actually condemned it. No. He goes to all lengths to prove that it is good and right and romantic and (god forbid) a true love. The problem with 50-year-old white straight men is that they still think that it’s great to have sex with women twice their age and completely normal to do that with women half their age (although he doesn’t show it here, otherwise it wouldn’t be just me here drumming the drums).

Licorice Pizza has a leading man who is so stupid he doesn’t know that waterbeds and rubber is made from gas yet goes on to somehow create a successful waterbed selling business while being a 15-year-old child. A boy who doesn’t have any acting skills yet is an actor. A boy who seems all sweet and cute yet thinks he is entitled to a makeout session with a girl he just helped and actually demands to see her naked as a price tag for being such a nice boy. A boy who becomes aggressive and toxic in a particular restaurant scene when he sees his crush with someone else. And a leading lady who is just blah. At least Paul gave some personality to the boy. The girl is literally noone. And somehow in the script they fall in love and run into the sunset together. Great!

How did this script get a greenlight? The problem with arthouse is that you can justify literal shit by claiming to be “different”. But I forgot that you can also justify pedophilia.

Agh 🙄😤

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